I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
