we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Randomize
