Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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