that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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