bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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