what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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