im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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