Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Randomize
