everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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