if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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