I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
