It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
