used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
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Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize