plz talk dirty to me
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
