i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
