Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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