my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
