Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
