Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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