You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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