i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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