well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
