you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just google imaged poop.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
