This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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