these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
