i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
