I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
