dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
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I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
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I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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