the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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