Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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