It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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