There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
