My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
