Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
