Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
