How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
