All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
please come you make the beer taste better
honey bunches of taint.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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