somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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