dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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