I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
