bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
