Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
