Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
