I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
