Dual....:-)
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Im part way to drunk.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
