But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
