you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
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just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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