wanna go halves on a baby?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
