He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
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Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
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The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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