he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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