Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
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