just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
