She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
