talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
