I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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